Whack Your Boss Wiki
Advertisement

COOL[]

his voice is softly and normal speed. In the game, the boss says "YES,NO,REEEEEEEEEEEE,WEEEEE"

Real Name[]

His real name is Rookie Dookie and he works as Boss in the office.

In the game[]

This is the guy you kill with random items in your cubicle. He brings you all kinds of bad news on how you're not measuring up and stuff like that. Trust me, if there is ever someone like this in real life I would want to kill him. In the game Whack Your Boss says the Employee for his fails in this week.The Employee in lot of job, have stress and wants to kill the boss. Sometimes, after the boss is already dead, the Employee sits in his chair and takes out an mp3 from his pocket with the podcast no when no want no worry.

Appearance[]

The Boss is usually shown wearing a red bloody pants

Before The Employee Kills The Boss[]

"No, no, no, no, no. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It's come to my attention that you're not measuring up. Didn't you get the memo? Here's a fun fact: Memos are not created to inform the recipient. They're designed to protect the sender. So, how long have you been sitting there? Over ten years. In that time, nothing has changed, except you've gotten weaker and I've gotten stronger. It's been Heaven! Corporate mergers, less government restrictions. Governments, that's a laugh. I now have the power to sue governments. They can't even protect their own intellectual property, which means I create nothing new. And I'm proud of it. I simply sit back and wait for someone else to create something. Then I steal it. What that? I'm a parasite? Of course I am. Parasites are survivors, and they will outlive most species in the impending mass extinction. Aw, is that depressing? Good. I want you in a depressed Hell, where you won't ask for anything, even this cubicle was designed to break you down by separating you from your fellows. At the same time, it denies you the privacy of a real office. Thus, your cubicle takes away your community and privacy. Zero dignity. You feel trapped, alone, powerless. Have your doctor write you another prescription. You wonder how I tolerate to this place? Here's a little secret: I don't like working here, I LOVE IT. I thrive here. I mask my low self-esteem with corporate buzzwords like vibrant, robust, core competency, optics, sustainability. That's a joke. Sustainable energy projects will cost the company way too much money. The environment can wait. Oh, polar bears are dying? Grizzly bears will handle it. As we speak, grizzlies are moving North and mating with polar bears, a whole new species! Bees are dying? Switch to agave. Save the whales? Clone the whales. Debate that around your little water cooler. Oh, and enjoy that free cup of water. It could be your last. What you heard is true. Water is the new oil. The water wars aren't coming. They're already here. Didn't you get the memo?" *Help our hero! Click something in the cubicle and find a way to Whack Your Boss!*

Advertisement